Flavio's journey to victory and to the moon
by Rivfruifv
Summary: Flavio and friends go on a fascinating quest to find Ridley.
1. Chapter 1

Alright so just to clear things up a bit Flavio's a pretty nift type. Almost on par with that Urkel's grandma personnel but maybe even more so.

Now I only know about 99.9% about Paper Mario or any of that shit so this might be a bit inaccurate as opposed to the entirely true shit y'know?

So one day Flavio was just being absolutely fabulous and just totally fucking awesome as he usually was and decided to do a really cool thing. "Gee it sure has been a while sense I went to da moon y'know?" He said to himself as he decided to go to the moon again. He also decided to bring a team along for extra saftey mesaures yo'. His team was:

*Waluigi

*Silver the Hedgehog

*Sergio bass guy

*Taokaka

So dey all got un da rocket boat thingy and sailed to the moon and also to victory. Well actually only the four members of the team were actually inside of the rocketship. Flavio was just sorta standing outside of it because he's fucking cool liek hat so don't question him okay?

So then they finally got to the fucking moon after a couple boring hours or so and then they stood on the moon jsut to make sure it was actually the moon and not some cheap copy made by that evul gai frum Kid Icarus Uprising, who made another moon to confuse Pit so he would stop fucking singing already. Jesus.

So den dey decided to walk around on da moon for a little bit until they suddenly came across da infamous Chris Hansen frum that one show that nobody cares about anymore called To Catch a Predator.

"I'm Chris Hansen" said Hansen as he introduced himself to the good guys. Hansen was truly evil. One time he made some loser throw away a cookie for wanting to engage in sexual intercouse with some girl. WASSUP WIT DAT?!

"'EYY CHRIS HANSEN WHERE'S RIDLEY" said Flavio. Apparently in order to enjoying the victory they were sailing to they had to find Ridley and destroyify him for factual justice yo'.

"Woah watch out Tao's good man Flavio, Tao has seen this dude on TV once and he is a truly devistating loser" said Tao as she set her hand on Flavio's shoulder. Flavio didn't know any better and why did he need to anyways he just fucking rocks everyone's socks and ain't noobdy gotta tell him whatta do.

"Augh I HATE this fuckni guy yo', he might even be da iblis trigger from that one terrible game that I starred in and he also stole the master emerald I think" Silver began ranting about Chris Hansen for no reaosn. Silver didn't know any better but the difference between him and Flavio is that Flavio isn't a total shoe type adn has his excuses for it.

Sergio didn't say anything because he doesn't really talk all that much.

Then Chris Hansden pulled out some papers that he stapled together or something. "Says here on dis script that I totally didn't write up for kicks that atleast one half of your team members was having sex and that is illigeal in atleast 51 states including Mistersippi" he said as he read the paper stuff that he wasted some innocent trees to make.

"Boi dere isn't even 51 states you fucking illogical shoe and that is not a state either go back to history calss yoy" Waluigi lashed out ast Handsome, "also sex is not illegal we've been doin it for over 9000 years wtf"

"Oh but it says here that it was a gay sex and that is most definitely illigal somewhere there, probably Texas because that's a really shoe state to be in me thinks" he retorted, "I heard the people there light horses on fire or something"

Then Silver's cheeks blushed red and everyone in the vicinity noticed it. His rhetorical secret was revealed. "Who was that howth sex with?" asked Tao as curious and outgoing as ever.

"STOP!" yelled a mysterious voice, "I KNOW WHO TEH PERPORTRATOR WAS!" the voice belonged to none other than

**Tom Nook**

"Oh no it's fuckgin salesman raccoon guy frum Animel Cruising" sayd Waluigi as he threw down his tennis racket "that goddamn simpleton ripped me off for a new fridge and Captain Fuck You looks like him"

Tom Nook ignored Shoeuigi and then started throwing money and trees and sea basses and other Animal Crossing stuff at people but it didn;t hert them tho. Then he set up a stand and protended to be a court guy (I think htey call those guys judges or something I dun fucking know I don't do court shit usually).

"Order in the court, tjhis dork is guilty of fucking Shadow in the ass in his college dorm" said Thomas Nook as he pointed his hammer at Sliv.

Everybody gasped. :o

"Goddamnnti whyd you have to say that yu fucking ass" said Silver, calling Tam Nakk an ass Luca-style as he punched him in the face liek captnan fulcon which sent Torm flying into the sun and then he burnt up because of the sun and then moths ate his corpse or something.

Meanwhile, Chris Hansen has decided that he has had enough of dis shit yo' so he got together his totally villianous anti-gay team. It was:

*Jeff Buckley

*Ganondorf

*Francis

*Nicholas Cage

*Pissed Off Angry Gamer

"We're outnumbered!" exclaimed Taoth. They indeed had one less team member than Chris Hansen.

**BUT THEN**

"I welll halpp" sayd a mysterious voice. It was none other dan

**Shadow**

"MAI LUVERR!11!1" yelled Shad-o as he saw Silver on the good guy tema. Then Snvil slapped Shad on da butt and said "fuck you ahm not doing you no more". Shadeow cryied but decided to fight anyways becuz he knew Sliver was just kidding lol.

Then the ultimat battle on da moon began as Waluigi bopped Ganongorof on da noggin wit his tennis raquet. "See? Your friends ditch you because you don't have the charisma of me, Super Mario!" said the evil version of Luigi as he tore his faek-ass cosstuem off to reveal he was actually

**MARIO**

Then Mario tore off his fake-ass ocstume to reveal he was actually

**DOOPLISS**

"See? Your friends ditch you because you don't have the charisma of me, Super Mario!" exclaimed Doopliss once again to all people in the vicinity as Ganondrof warlock paunch'd him into spaec never to be seen again becuase he's had enough of his shit for one day.

"I hate small towns" said Francis for no reaosn, "What the hell is this? EUOH" he continued as he then took a beehive frum Animal Crossing that Tom Nook left behind beofr he died and then dropped it on Nichalos Chage's haed.

"NOOOOOOOO NOT THE BEES, MY EEEEEYYYYYYYYYEEEEEES" said Nickelodeon Caged Animal Crossing as his skull collapsed. "CAWPZ" said Francois as he maed his cool faec y'know?

"Goddamnit why is everyone on dis stopid-ass team killing eachother liek shoes; your supposed to be killan da GUD GAIS y'fucks" sayd Grangopdf as he kicked Francis into outer space to be with his best friend Dorpliss.

Then Pissed Off Angry Gamer did a reverse fall in his chair and became less hair mc'gee as he started talking about video game consoles he hated because he couldn't eat them because he was fat. "The Shitbox 360. You can play the original Shitbox games on your computer-UTER" he said as his chair was suddenly pulled out from underneath him by Taokaka who had a fetish for chairs for some reason and then Pissed Off Angry Gaemr fell on da ground but not really because they were in space which means zero gravity m'kay?

Then Shadno kicked him in the balls as Silver then used his telekinesis to lift an assortmess of variosu viode gaem consoles and threw them at the fat which sent him flying into deep space and into Neptune (de best planet btw) which ate him becuz it's a gas planet. "I AM NEPTUNE, KING OF THE SEA" yelled Neptune in a voice similar to Ed frum Ed Edd n Eddy. There was also a building somewhere in there and the Angry Fat Game Guy fell on it and it fell down because he's fat rofl.

"Man this team sucks, i'm going home" said Jeff Buckley as he stole Flavio's rocketship and went back to Earth. Sergio n da rest of da guis frum the Parking Lot Dorks (the band frum Broken Globe which is where Sergio comes from) were really big fans of Jeff Buckley so Sergio went with him and they listened to the new Interpol album and covered Led Zeppelin songs and beat MvM and watched Benidorm and then stole the fat guy's donuts and ate them.

Meanwhile, back on da moon, all of da bad guys except for Chris Hansen and Ganondorf have been wiped out like the lot. Now they're the ones who are outnumbered.

"SURRENDER NOW FIENDS AND TELL US WHERE RODLEY IS" said Flavio. "Yeh or else we'll have to force you to listen to Vmpr Wknd" sayd Silver as Tao punched him in the neck. "Shut the fuck up nobody cares u fag" she said as Shadow made that faec he made in that one issue of da Archie comicz.

"Fine" said Chranston, "we'll tell yuo where he is... but on one condition."

"What is it?" said Shade.

"You must defeat me first!" said Handle as he got into his fight stance and so did Ganonborf. Flavio didn't need a fight stance because he was too badass for that. The other guys on his team didn't think they needed one either but since they're technically inferior to their leader they probably should've gotten one.

Suddenly, just as they were about to fight, some other villian appeared and he was flying in a hovercraft and carrying a bomb. It was

**EGGMAN!**

"You're no match for me, you petty little FUCKS" said Eggman as he launched da bomb in the general direction of Hamlet and Grorf. Gangrel tried to reflect da bomb back to Eggmon by kicking it to da MOOOOOOOOOOOOON liek a soccer ball but the problem was they were already on the moon. So then he just tried kicking it normally but then he sprained his ankle and so it blew both of them up and they sorta got launched into space with the rest of their shoe team I guess.

"I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON ALL LOW REPLOIDS" exlcaimed Cranberry Juice as a meteorite hit him and his pal and they kinda died I suppose.

"MUAHAHAHAHA, you FOOLS will NEVER find where Rildley is hiding NOW!" said Robotnik as he ran away. "AFTER HIM FOR FACTUAL JUSTICE YO'" commanded Flavio as they chased down Rabnik. Will our heroes catch Eggman and discover the hiding location of Ridley's whereabouts?

**FIND OUT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER** **of this shit.**


	2. Chtp 2: they find Roidly

**Chtp 2: they find Roidley**

This is my first time writing another chapter to a fanfic so plz don't be a mean guy that does all that mean stuff or sumtin.

So Flavio and his band of cognitives were chaisgn down the dastardly Eggman because he wouldn't tell them where Ridley was until suddenly Francis appeared again. Apparently he had completely orbited around the moon at light speed so then he rocketed himself into Elgbman's ship liek dat one song by Elton John called Rocket Man y'know?

"OKAY AHM SORRY ALL TELL YUOU WHERE THE VILLIAN IS" said Fatman as he got up from his broken ship that Francis crusherfied liek a dorito, "He's hiding on that comet that's flying over there" He then pointed towards a comet that was flying over there.

"Bitch that shit's too vague; where the fuck are we supposed to go" said Tao.

"OVAH DERE" said Luigi.

I dunno y Luigi was suddenly there but everyone looked to where he was pointing and saw Ridley fooling around on some meteorite like a total parking lot dork.

"Gee thanks" the guys said and then Luigi joined their team as a replacement for Waluigi because fuck that guy right. "ONWARDS TO VICTORY" shouted Flavio as they all got on a new rocket ship and when towards the cometeorite except for Eggman and Francis.

"I hate small towns. CAWPZ" said Francis as he picked up Eggman and threw him into space lol.

**Chtp 2.4: Redli**

So the heroes got to da metor and found da evul gai Ridley frum Metroid.

"Dafuq is dis shit, fucketh thy existence man" Ridley said.

"We r here 2 destroy u becuz u suck so pony up foo'" sayd Shad-0.

"HAHAHA, U FAGTS WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME, FOR I AM NOT ACTUALLY RIDLEY" cackled the wily Ridley as he pulled off his fake-ass costume to reveal he was actually

**KUGAWATTAN**

"No, it can't be!" said Tao in disbelief. (She sure seems to be the most talkative character in this story, no?) "Mr. President; I knu i herd that laff soumwhere" sayd Shnad.

"HAHAHA, NOW TO DO HOSPITAL STUFF" said Kuglwattan as he pulled out a cannon that used stethoscopes, syringes, band-aids and other hospital equipments as fodder. He launched it but den Silver picked up Weegee and threw him at the medical cannonball to reflect it but it ended up killing him so the ball hit Silver too and he died.

"NUU, SILVER, MY GH3Y LIFE PARTNER" Shadow cried for several days as Kargowatnun fired another cannonball at him and Shaden exploeded and diyed too.

Then Luigi came back to life and screamed "MARIO, WHEREVER YOU ARE, HYEAEAEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUULP"

Sudennly Mario appeared and he was ready to save da day wit the help of his good friend Flavio. "All toasters" said Mario as the scene changed into a Paper Mario-like battle sequence. Mario jumped on Kugen's head two times and killed him becauz wit Flavio any boss could be defeated that easily yo'.

"YOOOUUUUU KILLED MEEEE" said Kugawattan as he melted.

"Good." Mario said.

And then they all went back to planet Earth and threw big anime dance party with Jeff Buckley and Sergio.

**Meanwhile, back on da moon...**

"Hahaha, idiots" sayd da real Ridley, "dose fools really thought that Kugawattan was me and that I could be defeated that easily. Dey thouhgt wrongs and I will rise again to destroy lall da shoes yo'!" he yelled evilly and laughed and did a Kugawattan pose but nobody was listening to him. "Btw Kugl n Luca how's dat infinity sex machine goin" he looked over to the other side of the room where the dastardly real Kugawattan and Luca from that other fanfic were still plotting to take over the world with transexualization and metal jazz covers of Radiohead.

**But suddenly**

"What the hell is this?" said Francis as he suddenly appeared out of nowhere, "I hate hospitals" he said as he picked up Luca n threw her into da machine.

"Wht the fuck why'd you just do that you fucking weirdo" yelled Kuga as he paunched Francis into spa3c sorta liek how Ganondorf did it that earlier tiem y'know?

Luca then emerged frum the machine thingy as a dude like she always wanted to be.

"Hahaha, now no ass can EVER call me a girl again!" he cackled evilyl.

**Tune in next time where shit happens but I don't even know what.**


End file.
